Below are the results of an on-going case study (#49) involving one of the most peculiar weasels we have had a chance to observe. With years of observation, we have been able to discover the true mental works of your average annoying weasel and some tell-tale signs to look for.

  Most weasels are easily identified, unfortunately for most, it isn’t until after the encounter that you truly understand what you just witnessed. You see, the average weasel is very good at getting close to you and camouflaging their true identity until it is too late.

  Some classic signs of a weasel to look out for are: shifty, beatty eyes; large heads (representing their overwhelming egos); inability to follow simple directions, and paranoid reactions to any questions about their actions. You see, weasels feel no need to explain their behavior to anyone. They see themselves as “normal” and everyone else as delusional, when clearly it is the other way around.

  Most of the classic behaviors of weasels can be attributed to “Short People Syndrome”, sexual perversion, chronic cases of “God Complex” which leads to fantasy life styles.

  Short People Syndrome, or SPS, can lead to a newly discovered complex called “Tri-fascism”. This is where the weasel exhibits three linked but different “faces” or personas to those around them. The most common persona leads you to believe the sincerity of the weasel and blinds you to the actual dangers ahead of you. Once this persona has been accomplished it is easy for the weasel to disguise the perverse way they view life around them.

  The weasel now feels comfortable enough in your surroundings to explore and seek out his need to fulfill his sexual perversion. The weasel feels empowered by their sexuality and uses this power to seek out willing victims. The weasel doesn’t see the victims as unwilling though, he feels he is irresistible to all and therefore manipulates reality to fit their needs.

  They manipulate people and perspectives in their need to fulfill their fantasies of world domination. This “fantasy” life seems real to them and leads us to the factors of the “God Complex”. The “God Complex” is the final stage for most weasels. Once achieving this status of un-reality, the weasel now has the ability to manipulate others in many environments. Examples include: at home—the weasel can hide their sexual perversions from their significant others by boldly lying because by now she is an unknowing slave to his un-reality. At work—the weasel now can use his micro-management skills to quickly tear down the business you built. And lastly, in business— the weasel can reach out to the unknowing and seduce them with big words and fast talk and they will be lead into buying his products, only to learn later they bought garbage concealed in a pretty box, so to speak.